Integrated Listening Systems....a key part of our summer plans.

Summer school is including the ILS programs this time around. Josh, Leah and Jesse are on the schedule as we seek to lessen various learning/processing issues and I hope to figure out a way to work with Jerry...though he is such a little bear I am not sure how that would work. This is the system that I was trained on back in April and I have copied a few notes from their website below.

Do I think it works? When I discovered the program I thought it was worth investigating and once I attended the training we decided that it was worth the financial and time investment for our family. I wont have any strong opinions until we have worked through our sessions (30-60 depending on the child) but what I have seen makes logical sense. The damage that was done with FASD isn't 'repairable' but the brain may be able to compensate in new ways and we can improve focus and attention. In the same way I don't believe that the AS (Autism) can be 'cured.' But I believe that we can work with what we have. Next to those two Dyslexia almost seems easy - but it isn't and it is a daily struggle for Leah that we are willing to help her minimize.

This is what ILS says about a few particular types of issues......you can follow the link to see other applications.

1. "Attention difficulties: A well-modulated vestibular system is important for controlling the nervous system’s level of arousal. iLs bone conduction headphones and frequency filtration stimulate the vestibular system in specific ways that improve our ability to maintain a calm and alert state. A iLs process called “gating” strengthens muscles within the middle ear responsible for filtering out unwanted noise, thus improving our ability to discriminate and process sounds. Additionally, the gradual introduction and focus on higher frequencies in a iLs program provides the stimulus craved by the under-attentive brain.
2. Auditory processing: The vestibular and cochlear systems are 2 of our 3 main systems for organizing sensory input (vision being the 3rd). Together they form an interdependent system which allows us to detect and analyze sound, control balance and movement (including eye movement), and integrate our touch, hearing, and vision. iLs programs apply controlled stimulation of the vestibule and cochlea, thereby improving the integration and efficiency of sensory input to the brain.
3. Reading difficulty: Reading requires the ears and eyes to work together synchronously. As your eyes move from letter to letter your ear (cochlea) translates each letter into a sound. The vestibular system coordinates the eye movements and aids the synchronicity of the eyes and ears. iLs programs improve the neurological timing and vestibular function, reducing processing delay and improving this synchronization. iLs ear/voice conditioning (“Expressive Phase”) also plays a significant role in improving synchronicity."
   

This is what our system looks like. Everything fits into the case except the balance board. I like that!

This is the 'brains' of the system. An Ipod pre-programed with the complete protocols for all the programs and a bone conductor working through a special set of headphones. It's easy to use, compact and follows logical patterns for use. So far we have completed 2 sessions.....58 to go!

Got to love my Love Handles!

(Lily demonstrating how they fit.)

A few weeks ago I posted about the need to manage Joe and Jerry a bit better when we are out in public. I'm just getting too old to chase/catch/carry two 25lb toddlers - and still be able to walk the next day. Thankfully I found a type of child harness that met my aesthetic desire, the need to keep them both close and doesn't look too much like a dog leash - Love Handles. I ordered them straight from the website and put them into immediate use this weekend. I think watching our 86 year old grandpa managing them both in the busy parking lot while we loaded the others is a good enough test for me!

FASD - the tangle of diagnosis.....

(Please note: This is not a professional opinion - it is simply one moms comments on the reality of living with several kids who fall under the heading of FASD)

Living with FASD in the family is a wild ride. Realizing how complex the issues surrounding it can be and how little most of the medical community understands it, is like driving in the country at night with the headlights off - marginally terrifying.

That's where I am tonight. Facing a series of symptoms that make me question many of the earlier diagnosis we have accepted and based decisions on. Why does Asthma go away when ADHD meds are given? Does that mean it isn't really Asthma?! How about all the undocumented strange side effects we are experiencing as we test out various medications...does that mean it really isn't ADHD but simply (HA! SIMPLY!) a Central Processing Disorder of some variety that is manifesting in this odd way. Or how about the specter of low blood sugar? Is that an issue as many of our incidents seem to happen about two hours after we eat? Maybe it isn't a LD or ODD or Asthma - maybe it's hypoglycemia!?

Tonight I have no idea. There is no clear line toward any answer and I can't seem to find the missing link to what we are dealing with. I do know that I have a child who appears dazed and confused much of the time and that the research isn't over yet. But I admit, I wish there was an easy, clear diagnosis with a simple protocol for how to work with any of this. Even one single part resolved would be a milestone. So we pray and do our best every day, trusting that the Lord will reveal things in good time - or that He will sustain us as we keep walking in darkness.

Finders Keepers?

In our neighborhood it's common practice to put things out in the alley that are too good for the trash or that Goodwill wont take. I have carried home parts for stoves, dressers, plastic play equipment, numerous half ruined bikes and our neighbor Eunice found the ultimate item...a super industrial four loaf, 2lbs each bread pan. It's still one of my favorite cooking tools and worth much more than I would ever pay for such a thing.

Tonight was the trump. I 'found' a brand new, matched set of Amana front loading washer/dryer in the trash location behind the neighbors duplex. Tags still on them, never plugged in....too good to be true? Yep...absolutly.....stolen I'm sure. So they are nestled into the garage waiting for the landlord to verify that she didn't intend to leave $2000 of new appliances in the alley - so the the police can send a tow truck to come take them into evidence.

One of our hardest things in the neighborhood lately is finding things (cars/trucks/snow blowers/washers) that we know in our hearts are stolen but have not been reported yet so the cops cant do anything about it. Praying that the landlord will call soon so that we can get on top of this craziness.

Summer is heating up already..two big busts of 'distributors' on our little community since the snow melted. I'm holding my breath on the third one .....they are dealing just a tad close to home for this mommies earthly physical comfort and I will not miss their visitors.

NOT my new dryer.... Way too cute and clean......!

Chores in the the big family.....

Chores are a fact of life. Someone has to cook, clean, wash, feed and manage the 12 people who live under my roof. Good news is that it is WAY too much for me to even fantasize about doing on my own. So everyone works. It's pretty basic...

+we 'quick pick' the public areas of the house three times a day: After breakfast, after lunch and before dinner. Bedrooms are usually relegated a sweep through before night time reading with a larger cleaning anytime we put laundry away.

+The bathrooms are cleaned when company is expected (I'm sure to invite enough people over to keep it clean) floors are mopped on the same schedule as well as making sure that the flat surfaces are uncovered.

+NO horizontal piling allowed ....except for the portion of the kitchen that serves as my office/school organizer/remodel design center/computer base. And I have to get to the bottom of things there every week.

+The fridge is wiped out before the new groceries are put in and we use up all of the leftovers before starting another large cooking adventure so there isn't a lot of clutter.

+School is packed up and put away before playtime. In bins on shelves in the office.

+Laundry is a joke - it's constant and we don't stress much about it.

+Everyone is expected to work and it is shameful to avoid work by hiding or pretending. We are pretty clear about this and children who hide at cleaning time have missed meals or special treats. Even Joe (26m) scrapes plates, throws napkins away and helps sort out the yard.

+Good attitudes required. Work is a large part of what keeps our family going. Spreading it over 12 of us prevents anyone person from burning out and keeps everyone happy. Because that old adage...."If mama isn't happy - no one is happy" rings true in my house. Nothing like an overtired and overworked mommy to wreak an otherwise great day!

Of course he does tend to lick the tasty bits out of the bowls...

Summer Home School.........

A few years ago we decided that our homeschool year 'officially' runs from April to April. We found that schooling year round with random breaks works much better for our family than taking a huge chunk off in the summer and trying to get back into the swing of things in the fall. This is particularly helpful for the children who have ADHD, FASD and AS. Structure is the name of game and I learned early that there is no such thing as 'too much.' So school is in full swing for the 2009/2010 school year - we have kids in 8th, 6th, 4th, 2nd, 1st, K, two in Preschool and then the two toddlers. Here are a few random photos of how the year has gone so far....day 31 under our belts - not that I am really counting!

(Watching the inchworms fall from from the trees at dusk...hundreds of them!)

(Exploring the new rocks from our friends the Nelsons and enjoying the B's terrarium.)

(Memorial Day at Ft Snelling)

(This is a seafaring ship - John just read the Sea Rovers and put the fort under full sail to escape their pillaging.)

(Weldon shared a dehydrated frog that he found...it's still got some of it's skin on it so it is particularly cool..)

(And of course summer PE is super fun.)

The best graduation party ever.....

What made Tyler's graduation party so special?

Was it his new sister Maisy and all his parents hard work?

or the fact that Julie shared Maisy with me?!

Was it that there were three of us moms in the '10 kids many with challenges' club which made talking easy and helps encourage fellowship.

Perhaps it was the 'trash can grill' which I had never seen but loved the concept of ...

Or the left overs that they sent home which fed my whole family a hot nutritious meal...

Nope...The best thing about the party was watching Tyler surrounded by friends and family with all sort of abilities and disabilities - and it all being totally normal. No one was uncomfortable with severely disabled children enjoying themselves (in loud and rambunctious ways) and wheelchairs fit into the landscape as easily as cans of soda or peanut butter bars. It was just comfortable.

And as for Tyler....I like his touch of silliness as well as his maturity, his compassion as well as the love and friendliness that I see him expressing to all people. Tyler is a treasure. I can't wait to see what God has planned for him...

I never new managing ADHD medications could be this hard.......

It's week four of our first foray into ADHD medications - amphetamines specifically - and I am amazed at how hard this is to figure out. On one hand I can see marked improvement in focus, ability to follow through on instructions and interaction in our sons behaviors. On the other hand I have to wade through layers of conflicting side effects to figure out what is normal for him as well as what is not. What we can live with, and if each behavior is related to the medications or simply something he hasn't been able to express before.

One thing I hadn't really considered is what sort of change clear thinking might bring into his life. Before now words like spacey, over the top happy, wild and loud have been fairly good descriptions of my son. New words like worried, scared, melancholy and agitated would describe him at various points in the past month. For the first time he has become emotionally aware of his adoption and concerned about why he is in our family. He is dwelling on sad things and sitting by himself in corners.....the absolute opposite of the kid I have lived with for eight years.

So which one is the 'real' him? Is he by nature a melancholy person who's load is lessened by the brain scattering effects of ADHD? Or is he a cheerful scattered person (with an ODD streak) who's life is forced into an unnatural focus with these meds? I have to admit I don't know....and I'm not sure if the benefits that the medication brings are actually a blessing to him. Another good reason to stay in prayer over every step on this parenting journey - another pile of things to ponder.

Aproaching adoption deadlines....time to pray for Jeri and Randy!

To those inclined toward prayer and those who love adoption - prayer is needed over Jeri and Randy (Tritan's parents) and the extra special preschool son who will soon (Lord willing) be added to their family. Nothing unusual in the adoption world.....interstate paperwork needs to be approved, court documents prepared and hearing times set, finances settled (I believe that they are about $9000 short of the placement/legal costs) and all of the physical and emotional transition work that can be done ahead of time by his foster parents.....everyone is looking toward a placement in the first part of June. No stress for the Lord, in any of it, but a bit of tension for the 'expectant' mom and dad.

Praying over every member of the R family as they move toward embracing the life of another hurting child and trusting that their joy will increase as God fulfills his plans.

Don't give me a gift.....

Don’t give me a gift I can’t share
I don’t live a life that takes me there.

If I have a cookie
I’ll break it for you.
If I have a car – I will share it too.

Two boxes of diapers?
An easy split.
Three packs of wipes wont cause a fit.
Please take them all -
For I can buy more,
Tomorrow, when I am at the store.

Do you need a coat?
The rent?
Some food,
A safe place to cry
Or just be you?

Don’t give me a gift I can not share
Because the Lord has not called me there.

He told me first to feed his lambs,
To love my neighbor,
And learn to stand.

Upon the Holy Word that says
No good can come of holding on
To the blessings which have so freely come.

(Torturing you all with my poetry again! Blessings...)

First signs of summer........

We met Weldon and Patty at the park this week for the first late night of summer. Our neighbor Grandpa Johnnie was with us to hold and enjoy the tired toddlers and we played on into the dusk...little did we know that our cool evening would turn into a high of 97 degrees for the week. I think it's safe to put the parkas away for the season..............

Here is Anna's photo for the week. Jerry is NOT showing you all of his new teeth.

Lydia, Noel and Jerry on the 'fast' slide.

My city kids love the ability to run freely without stopping for street corners or fences. (Josh and Joe)

And a field of seeding dandelions just cried out to be kicked and run through....

(Jesse, Leah, Lydia, James and Joe)

FASD in my friends neighborhood.....could have been our house. :)

My friend Barb lives with neighbors who kids have FASD as well as her own. Here is her post today. It's a brief window into living next to, as well as with, teens who have been damaged by prenatal alcohol. Painful but reality.

Girlfriend homework assignment....Death is not dying....

Instead of writing a longer post today I am listening to a 55 minute presentation by Rachael Barkey. It's well worth stopping my super busy life and turning my heart toward the message she has to bring. She is a middle age mom who's life is about to end through genetic breast cancer. I urge you all to listen to this - it may change your life or prepare you for the next life-changing event. Breast cancer is a reality in my family...my grandmother died of it, my sweet mother is battling it now and it could be my reality tomorrow. I don't want to waste today.

E shares about her sons struggles as a teen with AS.........

My friend E (that's 36 years of friendship in June!) has a wonderful 17 year old son with Aspergers Syndrome. The posts she writes about his challenges are like signposts helping me to find my way through the pre-teen years and too soon the teen years that we will work out with Jesse. It been a really hard season for them but there is also hope as they learn to process the realities of their lives and slow progress is being made. This post echos the one I wrote last week about parenting blind and is an excelling insight into the life of a teen with AS.

Child Harness .......a cool new variation on an old theme

I know that the whole topic of child harnesses is a hot one, but there are times when I have to navigate downtown streets or crowded medical areas with all of my kids and need to know that my more challenging toddlers are not going to break off running and put themselves or someone else in danger. I was researching options for replacing that powder blue 1998 version that I had originally purchased and used for John and a succession of siblings and I found these cool ones out at Liberte Apparel .

This photo is not one of my boys - I'm trying to figure out how to budget in a matched set of Love Handles for my matched set of toddlers. But isn't he a cutie? I copied the photo from their website, without permission (totally naughty of me) but I hope that they won't mind as we are getting their name out there with a positive endorsement.

Prayer Request for Maisy and her parents.....

This morning at church they announced the placement of Maisy with her new family. Even as we celebrate her safe transition from foster care into their home she is struggling with a new and serious medical challenge. Here is Julies post from about an hour ago.....





Just as we have affirmed the fact that Maisy is "ours" --it is time to give her fully to the Lord--where she is loved even more than we could ever love her. Maisy is sick. She aspirated overnight on Friday because she vomited and a nurse left her laying flat on her back in her crib. We have spent two days trying to suction and use her nebulizer medications to see if she can clear out all that made it to her lungs. She is a trooper.The fierceness of a mother's love for her child comes out in me when I watch our new little one struggle. I am struck with how much more Our Father loves us and cares for us than even our moment of greatest love that we can express to our children. Just as we have claimed her as our own, we together as her parents, lift this little one to the Lord and give her back to the One who created her..the One who died for her and the One who has entrusted us with her care...Please lift her in prayer as she fights this illness.

Parenting blind....raising up kids with hidden disabilities...

For my kids with hidden disabilities there is a constant circle of questions and pathways that we have to walk in order to keep pace with how they are processing the world around them. It's not enough to watch their body language, words and the social cues - shoot - between Autistic behaviors, ADHD and FASD issues it's often like watching a rerun of Little House on the Prairie with the Simpson's soundtrack running over the top of it. Confusing to say the least.


It's frustrating and I wish they could find the words to answer my questions and let me into their worlds. "What are you feeling? What's in your mind right now? Give me hint....a suggestion ....a word picture, ANYTHING that can help me to get to where you are at." I am sure that they have the same desire - compounded and expanded because they are the ones that have to live in that separate world.

Many days I feel as if I am parenting blind. Having to peel back so many of the misleading layers of communication between us that when words, body language, actions, intention, and reactions are removed I find we are at the deepest heart level. A place where everything else falls away and we are left with the raw realities of their world. In that place suffering is tangible. It's heart wrenching and exhausting and I haven't learned to dwell there in peace. I don't like it. I hate that I say that, but it's a true reflection of my heart. I have to chose (it is my choice) daily to suffer with them in this, I have to intentionally walk along side them, that God might be glorified.

I pray that I will have the faith to continue to go into the dark places, to pick up this cross and follow Him - that I may not fall into the temptation of the wide and easy road through this life.

Stones from my heart..........

I'm a pretty physical person. I'm pushy, and punchy and don't mind being involved in a reasonably fair knock-down, drag out, fight. It's been an asset in my life when arresting shoplifters, facing deranged addicts (while harboring their abused spouses in my kitchen) or living in the same part of town as the Garcia family - who regularly messed with me growing up.

That same physical expression is still a part of my everyday life. It's been a wearing couple of weeks for my mommy nerves and several times I have found some delighted toddler or pre-teen dancing on my remaining island of good will. When that happens (hopefully before I blow) I have a new habit of 'taking a walk' through the neighborhood and looking for rocks. The worse my mood the bigger the one I'm hunting for.

When I have found the stone that best reflects my mood I wrap my arms around it and start the slow walk home. These are generally not small rocks (I'm too mad for something easy after all)- and if my arms don't ache I keep walking until I find a second one to pile on. By the time I have lugged these crazy rocks home from the train yard or the rail road grade my arms are sore, my mind is settled and I'm ready to put down what ever my issue was....be it named Homeschool, Children, Fighting, Self Righteousness or Sleep I find that I can drop them there at the feet of Jesus - just as easily as placing the stones in my garden. Unburdened, I am ready to go back to the house, with my mothering pitcher refilled with grace.

Baptism Photos....

The past 12 years have been a season of almost annual baby dedications for our family. Robert commented that we might be shifting from dedications to baptisms. I sure pray that that is so - the baptism part - not the end of baby dedications. (I wouldn't mind more babies.)

John and Leah were the two youngest being baptized - they were a little nervous to give their testimonies in front of the congregation. But they both did great.

Leah in the 'swimming pool' as Lily calls it.

After the service we shared root beer floats at church and then came home and had pie. Good news was that everyone was so tired that they fell asleep even though they were sugared up.

Youth Baptism Tonight.......

I always love baptisms at church , this time it's extra special because our two oldest (John and Leah) are making this public profession of their faith. What a blessing to watch the first of our children step out and chose to follow Christ.

Newest baby in my circle of friends ..............Maisy Grace!

Tomorrow is Gotcha Day for Maisy! I'm sharing a tiny bit of the waiting pains with her soon-to-be mom Julie who blogs over at Not an Ordinary Life. Please join me as we pray for the transition from her foster home, her exceptional medical needs and all of the unknowns that go with her 'mystery' syndrome. I'm also praying for exceptional grace over the other 9 kids, the PCA's and new nurses that will be in their home in this transition season. Can't wait to kiss you Maisy....soon and very soon you will be in your families arms and they wont have to put you down and wave goodbye.

Frustration....

Frustration has been a key word in the medical management of my families lives lately. A trusted doctor made a prescription mistake which compounded last weeks troubles in our home and I have encountered another round of professionals who don't listen to a parents quiet words.

When I take a child in for an EKG and specifically tell the practitioner that the child has strong ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) expressing itself this morning, my words are not idol chatter. It's a warning, a red-flag and a 'get out of jail free' card for them to understand how to approach the patient they are about to work with. Moments later they are dismayed to find the child wont cheerfully do what they told them to. Surprised? Not me - it's classic behavior for a child with ODD to throw adults for a loop when they approach them head on and authoritatively. Shoot - it's a red flag in front of a bull and mine goes for it.

The frustration extends to my research. The more I read, the less I know about my children's challenges. Between ADHD/Autism/FASD and the rest there are not 'tests' to see if a child has them. It's a series of checklists or exclusions to see if they hit enough markers to be diagnosed. Great. I'm leaning to say more often that we 'think we are dealing with' something rather than making a solid statement because the thinking is so compartmentalized. These are the specific drugs and therapies for kids dealing with FASD, others for ADHD and still others for Autism. But what if it's AHDH caused by Autism, or ODD related to FASD or looks like ADHD but really isn't it's straight Autism expressed as AS? Confused yet? We haven't even started in on the RAD or adoption issues but those are not this weeks frustrations, at least I don't think they are! I a msure that I know less than a year ago because then I thought I had some diagnosis. Now that I have seen the tests I wonder even about those original decisions. No question that something is there - but what it is?

So glad that I have prayer to undergird each day and to cover each decision with.

FASD - When other people discredit our concerns....

Julie, my girlfriend and fellow mom to special kids wrote a great post last week on living with FASD kids and how the 'outside' world comments about our kids behaviors being normal and discrediting our concerns. The link is here : FASD and other misunderstood disabilities..... Julie hit several sore spots in my heart dead on and she says it well with her post. I add my solid amen to what she wrote.

Tristan's family is moving forward with adoption....

Remember Tristan? He passed away a little over 13 months ago and is sorely missed. In this new season his family is moving forward with adopting a very special 4 year old boy who comes with many needs - the biggest of which is a family that loves Jesus and will love him unconditionally.

They been down to visit him and started the bonding process - his foster parents (who we love dearly) are praying constantly and preparing him as best they can for his difficult move to this long-awaited forever family. Though there are many things I can not help this family with, letting others know about the financial needs is one I can.

Thankfully this little guy did not end up in state foster care (with the long delays that entails) instead he is in private care like my Jeremiah was. But that means that there are about $8000 in expenses that this family has not prepared for, that need to be met. Please pray with me that money will not be a concern with everything else they need to manage, endure and suffer through with this child who has a story much to heavy for four year old. Trusting God's provision for this child....because I know that this little one is precious regardless of his past and futrure problems.

Faith Quilt Another Creative Fundraiser......

Faith Quilt is a compilation of encouraging Christian blog posts that have been compiled by Suzy in the UK. All of the proceeds are being donated to support Sarah's Covenant Homes in India and Casa de Amor Children's Homes in Bolivia. I think maybe....I'll order myself one for Mothers Day. :)

Angels watching over us...

One aspect of our life lately have been a series of near catastrophes. Each time one happens I am reminded again of the fragility of life, the need to release my own control and rest in the plans that God has laid out before me.

It all started with Jerry's hand. It is healing beyond our (and his surgeons) expectations - he will not need surgery, there is no bone infection and he will have a nail of sorts. I am amazed that little fingers can heal so beautifully.

It continued on Sunday night when I had an uncomfortable encounter with a heavy duty bungee cord. The cord was under a lot of tension, and it unhooked, catapulted around, and hit me in the head. After standing for a few moments waiting for the warm stickiness of blood to drip down my face I realized that I had been hit with the rounded part of the metal hook not the pointed end. I have a nasty knot but nothing that a little Tylenol can't manage.

The third near disaster happened today when little Joe tangled with a window in our yard. An old single pane had been placed aside for a few minutes against the garage and somehow Joe (or one of his able bodied cohorts) took it over and placed it on top of the large extension ladder that was resting on the ground near the garage. Crash! I came around the corner just in time to see both his bare feet go through the glass and hit the ground under the ladder. Being two he ignored my command to "STAND STILL" and pulled his feet back through the broken window pane. I was amazed to find that he had no cuts, not even a scratch worth mentioning. Though the window was horribly broken and his feet went through the jaged opening and then out again.

Praise God - for the special protection that seems to be over us in this season.

On a silly, practical note....I have been procrastinating over getting rid of an old window from the first floor bathroom and I had a perfect, instant replacement waiting in the garage for the one Joe broke.

All that to say - Thank you God for protection and for your amazing grace.

National Endowment for the Art's - Picture America Program

Last fall I signed up for the NEA's Picture America program - it was intended for traditional schools but open to homeschool participation. I love it! The program has 40 or so high quality, poster sized, laminated prints of Americas treasures. This painting of Paul Revere has photos of his silver work on the back and there is a teachers guide with lesson ideas for each poster. Since we are working through Unit 4 of TOG Year 3 Early American art and architecture is right where we are. I don't know if the program is still open to new families, but it was free and is an amazing addition to our homeschool program. (I am happy to share it on if any one wants to use it next - probably next Fall.)

One Happy Boy! And an amazed mom....

Two little blue pills and a good dose of caffeine have done what three years of teaching had yet to produce - focus and success. Today Josh voluntarily, quickly, cheerfully and accurately read this list of 15 words. Then tonight he brought them back to me after church and did it again. I stand amazed as the mom who has despaired over the amount of effort it has taken him to read even a few words this spring.

The trick for now seems to be regular (every 4 hours) caffeine and a moderate amount of long acting stimulant meds. It doesn't take away the FASD issues but it's like a fog has been lifted and he can put some of the pieces that he has had in there floating around into some sort of order now. Now we just have to figure out how to live with the side-effects.....

Window into our world.....random family photos

Praise God for Jerry's healing hand -it's bare now and looks more like a bad burn.

Lily is sort of thinking about being potty-trained. Dora has not been enough of an incentive yet.

After dinner entertainment - new outfits from our friend Karen.

Lily loves her daddy very much.

Homeschool field trip to the hand surgeon.....and this was in the big room.

John- a tad excited over the 'fresh books' for the new quarter. Not bad that we are starting out last quarter May 1. I can live with it. :)

Spring rituals include taking up the carpets and scrubbing all the winter dirt off the hardwood. Jesse loves this part of the process - scrubbing is right up his compulsively organized mind.

Early morning hugs - this is my usual AM look after a long night with babies.

Stealing vs. Taking... FASD in my world..

My one, two and three year olds regularly take things that are not theirs. If I leave a Hershey's kiss on the counter it's fair game within the paradigm of Toddler Etiquette and though we start the process of teaching them 'no touch' and 'don't take if it is not yours' we don't really expect that they will internalize the reasoning until they are older.

Older means a more concrete as well as a more abstract understanding of theft, property, and the the Eighth Commandment. One of our challenges right now is establishing a dynamic where a child who has FASD related brain damage (and randomly- almost unknowingly takes things) can live along side a child with a deep understanding of theft. Working through the reality of establishing intent. Weighing if the child has the ability to self-regulate or if they need outside intervention. Getting down into a core world where logic isn't the basis of decisions but emotion - often very violent ones - are. I find myself exploring their perceptions to see what is behind the thinking because it's only there that I can begin to help them establish routines that might help control the overwhelming desire 'to have' that which is not theirs.

It's a hard thing for a kid to live with - and for their siblings, friends and parents. Sadly, there is no margin yet in our laws for the hundreds of thousands of people in America with FASD who can't self regulate much less stop 'taking' things that are not theirs. Stealing is wrong, but is it stealing if your brain is damaged and you are lacking those essential things that keep people on the right side of the law? The University of Washington Fetal Alcohol and Drug unit has gone so far as to prepare a wallet sized card for persons with FASD to carry to explain their condition to police if they are ever involved in a criminal act or situation. I plan on providing them to my affected children because the reality is that they will have interactions with the police where they have crossed over a line - be it for speeding, fighting, stealing or just choosing their friends poorly. Because I love them I can't send them out into the world unprepared. Prepared here might mean seeing the probability of failure and setting up damage control gates ahead of time. It's a strange way to parent - and only through Christ can I embrace it daily.

Earthen Vessels - what a cool magazine!

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excelllence of the power may be of God and not of us. 2 Corinthians 4:7

Earthen Vessels is a wonderful magazine out of Canada who's editor is a homeschooled teen, Emily Berger. If I had a clue where my 'reading' pile disappeared to when my bedroom became a corner of the boys three season porch last month, I would share some of it here. Asking permission first of course! If she says yes, then Lord willing, I will uncover them in the next few days and share a small part of what she has so professionally presented.

Ms. Berger is part of a large adoptive homeschool family (sound familiar?) and has developed this magazine to encourage, educate and strengthen our commitment to the Great Commission. Those are my words after reading the two issues she sent me, not hers, but I believe I see her heart behind the work. The magazine is published quarterly (if I remember right) through donations and is free to those who request it. If you are interested in supporting her financially, learning more about her work or requesting a copy of the magazine her email is below.

Emily Berger
Editor, Earthen Vessels
djberger@platinum.ca