Saturday, August 17, 2013
She Nailed Me With Her Wordless Whine....
4:12 am - I'm sitting at the kitchen table- yesterdays coffee reheated in my cup and my girl friends toddler is giving me the evil eye from the pack and play with every ounce of her 15 months experience. She is sick and has a rash, she is hot and tired and she wants her mommy....NOW!
The poor kiddo has no idea that this middle of the night babysitter run means her life is shifting, changing and morphing into something new. And though her parents and I are excited - I suspect she wont be quite so thrilled when the new day dawns and she is no longer an 'only child' but a 'big sister.' As the true meaning of the word 'wait' is introduced and the reality sinks in that her parents love has now expanded to include another life which in turn redefines her own. As we adults know - it's both good as well as painful to have our worlds expand and the ground under our feet start shifting.
But Shhh.....she put her head down. And stopped her angry baby grousing and kvetching. I know her feelings. I can't help but smile at her as she so perfectly reflects my own heart in this season. I don't WANT to do this. I don't LIKE what's happening. I am TIRED and I want this to be OVER. Yep. She has me nailed with her wordless whine. :) She is me - smaller package - but same problem - things are not going the way I want them too. And I want it to be less hard! Wahhhhhh!
Baby K I love you - and I will watch over you while you sleep and be here as you wake. I will carry you into your new life as a big sister and introduce you to your new sibling if we decide you are not contagious. I will not leave you, I will not forget you, I will not forsake you, I will protect you, I will nurture you and I will pray over you until I can place you back into your mothers arms.
In the silence (what is that in my house!?) I am reminded that these same promises apply to me. That Deuteronomy 31: 7-9 is better than sleep because it speaks to my heart and says "Be strong and courageous...It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you nor forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed."
Oh yes......God has me ....I am not alone......he has us all.
Breath in breath out...good morning God.