In the front of my school planner I am going to write (as soon as I find the sharpie that I hid from those dratted busy hands) Teach resilience this year at every turn...encourage everyone to do hard things regularly and seek to do them well!
It's an important concept - right up there with 'Math, Language Arts, Science and History' - my crew has to be able to face adversity, struggle, suffer (a lot or a little) and then come out the other side still alive and with an increased ability to face and tackle the dragons of this world.
But resilience is a tough concept to grasp - it's the adaptations we make when the going gets tough. It's often what stops us from giving up - when things get hard. What keeps us in the game when we are loosing and the unknown hand that inclines us to pick up a bag and start tidying the morning after a disaster. Resilience is particularly critical to individuals with hidden disabilities and utterly mandatory for the families who love them. Without it we become brittle and rigid. We loose our ability to flex with the seasons of life and we loose our perspective. When we have no resilience every little thing becomes huge and the huge things become unbearable. We can easily become lost emotionally and wander into places that we never imagined going. A loss of resilience is a very scary thing.
But thankfully resilience can be taught, learned and remembered. Though some people are naturally inclined that way more than others - I think that anyone (regardless of ability) honestly can improve their resiliency and I have set out for the last 13 years to do that in our home. Early on I realized that resilient people didn't get that way by avoiding pain, conflict trauma or trouble...they got there by going through it, surviving and coming out the other side - and by being honest with what is happening with their emotions and for taking ownership for their own behaviors. Which probably made my kiddos crazy sometimes since I don't let them slack on the 'do hard things' category of life. But honestly they are doing a great job! Out of the trauma and drama of this summer I see new levels of personal and family wide resiliency developing - from 50 yrs down to 3 we are all learning new things and will end up stronger for it.
If you want to read a little more about resilience as a concept this is a good overview - feel free to add your favorite links in the comments section.
blessings friends -
I hope you can see todays traumas bringing increased resiliency into your life tomorrow....... as the healing begins.