Friday, January 11, 2013

It Takes A Lot To Shut Me Up.....

I am part of a large family of loud, opinionated, loyal and wonderful people.   Think Italian.  Except we are not.  Think politics - a few of us have dabbled in that.  Lawyers, professors, soldiers, entrepreneurs, professionals and crazy advocates out there beating the concrete for the causes we have grown to love and the people we treasure.

NEVER is the word silent used in conjunction with any of us.  Nope .....wouldn't be natural at all for us to be without words. 

It has been a battle for me to learn to be silent before the Lord and long journey as I have worked to tame my nasty mouth.

But that's not the sort of silence I am talking about here.

Wednesday night I had a taste of what being unable to control my speech might be like.  For 20 minutes or so I looked through a doorway I knew existed but had no ability to understand.  A place where my mind was clear and my thoughts coherent - but my mouth was unable to form words and express them.  It wasn't all words - just parts of sentences and it was paired up with tunnel vision which came and left without any other symptoms.

Thankfully I wasn't alone -by God's good grace a doctor and a nurse had come over to hang out with me and the three little boys while the others were at church.  As fast as it started the episode ended and there were no visible side effects.  Of course we followed up with all sorts of medical tests which led to the discovery of some inflamed and narrowed vessels in my brain.  In the next few weeks we will address those findings - and I'm sure we will play the wait-and-see game. 

But that isn't the interesting part to me.  I'm intrigued by the fact that for that brief time I stepped into an area of challenge I had never experienced.  On Wednesday night I was blessed with the opportunity to see life from another angle.  A place where words are alive and well in my head but unable to be spoken out loud.

A place where I would never chose - but might someday be called to willingly go.


thesleepyknitter said...

oh, mercy, so glad you are all right!

It is a blessing for you to receive these insights to help ou better understand the needs of those around you, but I pray that all is well with you and that you never experience an episode like that again.

Dawn said...

I pray that it turns out to be nothing major. It sounds like something major. I will be praying for you.
Blessings, Dawn

Blessed said...

Oh my goodness, that must have been fascinating but so scary!!! I sincerely hope and pray that the drs can figure out what is going on, and help heal it. Not only for your sake--your family needs a mommy who can speak to them when she needs to!

tammy said...

I had something like this happen to me a few years back. For me it was stress and anxiety related. I am an upbeat person who has a problem with cheerfully taking on alot and then internalizing any stress that comes along. I did such a good job of it, I even fooled myself and never knew how stressed I was. Juggling my load a bit and learning when to say no and learning to read myself better made it all go away. I will pray that you get better and that the doctors have great wisdom. Maybe it will be something simple for you like it was for me :)