Friday, April 6, 2012

FASD Parenting: It Isn't About Doing Everything Right.......

Successfully parenting our kids with FASD's isn't about making the right decisions in every situation or handing every behavior in one certain way.   I tried that and it's an understatement to say that I failed.  I failed spectacularly because parenting the kids under our roof well (both those with FASD's and those without) needs to be a big picture understanding of where each one  started, where they are today and where they are headed.   It's about knowing the tendencies and potential (good and bad) of each one and making the necessary course adjustments as they go through daily life.  This type of parenting isn't about 'rules' and 'standards' it's about flexibility, knowledge and determination. 

It's like being a cowboy working out on the range vs an employee at a commercial milk production facility.  The cowboy responds to every storm cloud, injury, rattle snake and potential stampede while the milker follows rules, washes hands,  reads handbooks and keeps the herd moving smoothly through the shoot.

I like to think of my kids with FASD's as free range long-horns.  Wildly beautiful, unique and just a tad unpredictable.  

I love my wild things.



5 comments:

Blessed said...

I love reading your perspectives. You are "pro child" in all the best senses--treating each child like a unique, worthy person, and making your parenting idealism take back-seat to your kids.

Happy Easter!

Kari said...

Great analogy. :-)

tammy said...

This is so true and a lesson I need daily to remind myself of. I have only just started reading your blog, and as an adoptive mom of a sweet FASD boy, I have found great encouragement in your writing. Thanks,
Tammy

Old Salt said...

A fond and friendly, "Yee-HAWWW!" from our own ranch. Thanks for yet another fitting, honoring, and timely analogy. What is amazing is seeing one moment's brush-cut steer settle into the lovely barn-broken Guernsey she can also be...

Anonymous said...

I tend to see my child with an fasd as Predictible in the Extreme. Rarely surprises me -- call me cynical. But wait: I do believe there have been some unusual moments of self-control lately! So I am reminded again to Pay Attention -- growth is happening under the surface. Thank you, and Joyful Easter!