Why The City? Looking At It As The Mom To Kids With FASD....

One of our main reasons for returning to the city (along with a strong commitment to city life, love of the diversity and personal calling) is that our kids who live with FASD are very likely to need to live in the city as adults so we want to establish an awareness and identity for them that includes an urban reality.

Here are a few sad but true facts about their future.....
1. Some might never have a drivers licence. Driving requires a level of maturity that they might not achieve.  Not driving means that they will need to be on a good bus line in order to get to work/doctors/shopping etc.  Most good bus services are in the city.

2. Some may not ever pass a 7th grade level of academic achievement.  Because of their types of brain damage I can see that shift of thinking from concrete to more abstract thinking as being very difficult.  That means no college degrees and therefore no future jobs that might pay a wage that would allow them to achieve that American Dream.  They will need to be where there are many opportunities for jobs that do not require a high school education or college diploma.  Where is a good concentration of those jobs?  The city.

3. Some are always going to have a hard time behaviorally - no matter how hard we try or what type of parenting methods we use, behavior modification is not guaranteed.  And guess what...being in the city we see children and adults with FASD like behaviors all the time.  The too loud, too wild, impulse driven, mistake making, rage like behaviors that our kids experience - the neighbors do also.  Remember Kitten and my intentional campaign to love her..no matter what happened? I am very sure that she was an adult with FASD, doing her very best with the supports she had.  She just didn't have enough of them to make it out of the poverty cycle.  There is a place in the city for Kitten and for my kids too.

4. Some are going to need their mommy far beyond the age of 18 and because some of them are likely to need to live in the city I would rather be here with them.  Yeah, when I am 50 and they run away, or 60 and they have their own babies and hard times, I would rather have a dose of their reality and the connections that can help them find support. 

Think I'm crazy to think that those with FASD often end up in the urban centers?  Go do a little reading up on it....all the runaways I have met from the reservation (and who have FASD) ended up here in the city and of all the reading I do about various families who live the FASD reality not one has ever had a kid who ran away from the city to the suburbs.  That just isn't how it works.  The suburbs are all about social rules, personal distance, respect of authority, success, money, college, average behaviors and all those other things that just don't have the same meaning for my kids.  Not that they don't need all of those things, it's just that our definitions are just a little off the beaten track.


(I know what some of you are thinking...BUT WHAT ABOUT ALL THE CRIME AND BAD THINGS ABOUT THE CITY? How can you put your vulnerable kids in the path of such stuff?  That my friends is a great question and a post for another day.)

Quickie Update.......

Life is starting to settle down here today so far we have only had three of the younger ones 'loose it' after church and two of the older ones later in the day.  Thankfully no one went into a rage or histrionics that required more than a little therapeutic parenting or time alone.  Because I don't have time to deal with it as I am scrambling to get everything in our little house safely secured and out of reach of those with impulse control issues.  (who else unpacks and stashes the knives and medications first when they move?)

So far so good - though I have yet to find my stash of sensory chew toys - I was desperate enough yesterday to hit the target baby section for a couple of teething rings.  Any good recommendations for these type of toys here in the city? So far I haven't had to buy many (thanks to everyone who has recycled their things with us) so I don't know where the shops are.

Of course it cant be smooth sailing...something has happened to my email over the past two days and now I can't send any messages out.  I am getting around it by using our web mail feature but it's a little workey so I am not answering any but the most important that way.  Don't be offended if you sent me a message and I don't answer in this season.  It sure isn't personal!

Second Look at the Little House........

This morning laundry became an imperative.  I was either going to reestablish the system the Grandpa John has been using for 15 years or find a local Laundromat.  So...with some of that slick wrapping plastic from the move, pliers, a screwdriver and a little string I am back in the watching business!  Unconventional, but better than sloping 13 peoples worth of laundry through the Minnesota winter every week.....and in the process I discovered that the shower in the basement is functional...and might even give it a try!

The other side of the basement looks like a playroom to me....funny to see those fancy lakeshore carpets in a slightly different environment.

Still Married.....

I snatched this photo off of Carries blog - I thought it was good proof that you can do these hard things in a marriage and still end up smiling.  This was taken midway through unloading our belongings into storage yesterday....it was a super long day and I am sure glad to have it behind us.

Update From The Little House....

Thanks to Carrie for updating the blog while I have been offline and overwhelmed.  I think that moving a family of 13 cross country is equal to a civilian deployment -its just a massive number of details and urgent needs to be satisfied.  As I type we are ending our first day in the 'Little House' - all 800 square feet, one 'original' bathroom, and one bedroom which we will call our home for the remainder of this winter.

For your first peek, here is the living room which we are using as a second bedroom - we set up three sets of bunks and two pull out mattresses to sleep the 8 oldest kids. Sure it's a little tight but we were able to settle down there and enjoy our first house guests - Daniel and Christie brought dinner and camped out with us in the living room for the evening.

Second Update From the Road

Dorothy called this morning to talk through the logistics of moving in. They're on the last leg of their return trip home! They stopped an hour west of Lincoln, Nebraska, last night and plan to drive through and arrive late this evening.

This morning Dorothy is driving the van and asked me to thank everyone for their prayers. The kids are holding up wonderfully and the  weather has been perfect for driving. Dorothy said they knew they were getting closer to Minnesota because they had to break out the winter coats!

I want to personally thank all of you who have blessed them gift cards, meals, moving help, child care, cleaning up before they move in, and giving them a place to sleep tonight. Their CareCalendar is filled with love! At Dorothy's request, it is currently set up for one month. But what may be their biggest hurdle, the kids' adjustment to the disruptions of this past year, is still ahead of them and may last along time. So please keep praying, and please stay tuned.

For Bethlehem North friends: Lord willing, they will be at church on Sunday, probably right back in their front-row spot during the first service so seek them out and welcome them HOME!

--Auntie Carrie

Udate from the road

Dorothy just called. They are on their way home! They're somewhere in eastern Colorado heading toward Lincoln, Nebraska, late tonight. I didn't get an update from the van full of children so assume that so far everyone is doing as wel l as can be extpected. Cell phone communication between the two vehicles is patchy, but they have radios for back up. Dorothy, in the 26 foot U-haul towing their second van, is doing just fine. Let's keep praying for good driving weather to hold and for heaps of in-transit mercy for the children!

If anyone would like to look at their CareCalendar and bless them with a meal --or lend some extra hands moving in this Thursday 1/27, please email me and I'd be happy to give you the log in information: zeman 1102 at usfamily  dot net.

--Auntie Carrie

Everything Important is packed....it's just the details that are killing me!

With the kids in the van everything else seems a little unnecessary....wish I really could just leave it all (except the kids of course!)

A 26 foot uhaul is not big enough for a family of 13.......

Today we loaded the 26 foot uhaul and were not surprised to discover that we have more belongings that need to be moved back to MN than would fit into the truck.  Tomorrow will be all about making that next decision...is it worth it to store the things in the garage until the house sells and then fly down to rent a truck and drive it back?  Or is it worth going the POD route, loading them tomorrow and having them deliver then in the future. 

Thinking it through tonight the cost is about the same...I'm going to sleep on it and decide on my morning run to Starbucks.  Yes, Starbucks, a necessary indulgance since this morning our coffee maker died (smoking wires and all)  again - I am super thankful for those Starbucks card refills.  One the bright side?  One less thing to pack!

Today We Load The Truck!

Everything in our life seems to have an exclamation point on it right now.  As I type we are gearing up for our last Sunday worshiping with Village Seven, preparing to start loading the monstrous 26 foot U-haul this afternoon and realizing that in 48 hours the 'Colorado Adventure' will be ended and we will be headed North.  The work of moving hasn't changed much from a year ago - but there is joy in the journey this time and that makes all the difference!

Moving To Colorado Was Not a Mistake....(But it Sure Was Painful!)

Twelve months ago today the movers were at our Minneapolis house looting through ever nook and cranny and packing 15 years of Minnesota life into a semi-trailer.  Laughter was a tiny snugly newborn and I was crying at every turn as I said goodbye to piles of friends who had loved us well.

Today the kids and I are our own moving crew (daddy is supervising but not packing because he threw his back out - prayer would be much appreciated on that one.)  In the true 'it's got to worse, way worse, before it gets better' category the house has gone from pulled together for alternate day showings to 'hit by a tornado' on a regular basis.  But I see an end in site.  This morning is the last showing until after we are gone, tomorrow we pick up the truck and start loading (2:00 here at the house in case anyone wants to help)and Lord willing, but the crack of dawn Tuesday morning we will be headed home.

One year and many tears later we will be almost back where we started.  But it hasn't been a wasted year or anything I would wish away. It has been a very important thing for our family to do and a part of God's plan for teaching us be content with what is best for us rather than with what we, and the world at large,  thinks we should have. 

Ha!  You might say...aren't you leaving now to go back?  How is THAT content? Good question - but as we look and pray and ask with hearts that are not pursuing money or an easier life now - it is much simpler for us to see where our path had strayed.

So...we came in our own strength with promises of wealth and leisure - of privacy and safety and we go back in His strength.  Back  to far fewer physical comforts but understanding now that our treasures are not financial and temporary but relational and eternal.  No - it was no mistake to move to Colorado.  And it has (will) cost us everything that we used to hold dear, but the gain, the gain of people who really love us is wildly, overflowingly, priceless.

Dyslexia in Our Homeschool: Take Flight + Lexia..........

Today Star finished her last Take Flight tutoring session at the Colorado Springs Dyslexia Center and it was a sweet thing.  The sweetness was watching my 12 year old fly through the 2 year program in 6 months due to her personal desire to master it and natural love of learning. 

Having spent so many years teaching her the basics of reading we were thrilled last June to discover that Colorado Springs was the perfect place and the right season for her to tackle the program head on. And she did it beautifully. 

Doing a little follow up today I was thrilled to realize that we have been working on a parallel but similar path with the Lexia computer program that she (and five others) use to work on reading skills.  I found this link to a PDF document that actually correlates each Lexia level to each Take Flight lesson.  Slick.  Not that I had a clue, but now I can see that we have been on the right path all along - we just didn't know it!

Note on programs: Older versions of Lexia can be purchased on disk from private individuals while the current one is available only through the Lexia site link and involves an online annual fee for each child to use it.  We do it both ways because we have been using it for 4 years - ask for a discount if you have more than one child using the on-line version.

Take Flight is a program that is only taught by a language/reading specialist.  It is expensive (ranging from $6,000 - $13,000 to go through all 7 books from what I can see) but I have not found anything else that is comparable for helping kids with serious Dyslexia - so it was worth it to us.

Whoa! Girlfriends with Adoption Tax Credit Rolling Forward...BEWARE!

Eeek!  1 hour into the fun of number crunching I ran into what looks like a serious Turbo Tax quagmire for those of us with multiple adoptions over the past 10 years.

As I was working through their just released 8839 questionnaire I ran into this simple page which asked me to input the carry forward adoption tax amount for each year starting in 2005.  Simple....except that it started adding up the years which isn't exactly the right way to run these numbers! (Example:  Lets say I adopted a baby in 2005 and my adoption credit was $10,600, if I didn't use any of it in 2005 or any year after that then I would roll it forward into 2006, 2007,2008, 2009 each year having my carry forward being $10,600...answering this page literally it would put me at a $53,000 adoption tax refund because I had carried forward the $10,600 for five years.  Which is WRONG.)

Thankfully, I know that this Turbo Tax worksheet isn't going to the IRS and because I have a clear idea of what my carry forward should be (remember that 1040x game earlier in the season?)   I am going to insert it into the 2009 carry forward slot remembering that anything before 2005 needs to fall off and all taxes that were credited out of it need to be taken out of the oldest (for us 2001, 2003, 2004) adoption credit per year.  Psych.  I'm putting the MBA to good use tonight but I sure wouldn't want to be the guys at Turbo Tax later this week when the program update has to be released...because this is going to cause a bucket full of chaos over at the IRS.

AND just to add to the fun....as of tonight I tagged in on another glitch in the 8839 Turbo Tax forms for the adoption of children who are disabled.  It looks like the program is adding adoption costs + adoption refund within it's structure.  I don't think that potentially doubling the dollar refund was exactly what the IRS had in mind when the set that one up. :)

I got the form....LATE NIGHT PARTY!

I just downloaded the 2010 IRS 8839.....Forget sleep tonight - I'm in tax geek heaven!

24 hours and the IRS 8839 will be released!

I've got the itchy - twitchy 'can't wait to get my hands on this form' distraction going on here today.  Tomorrow, January 20, is the scheduled release of the 8839/2010 - adoption credit/rebate form from the IRS.  It's the oh-so-exciting conclusion of our year long drama on the refundable adoption credit....I will post the link here as soon as it is 'official.'

(Go ahead -call me a tax geek - but it's even more this year...if we do get the full refund we should be able to buy the old mn house back!)

Crossing The Cuteness Line.........

Three years ago, pretty near the birth of this blog I had a rather nasty and cutting reader who made this comment on our trans racial adoptions "Yeah, your all happy now....just wait until they are not so cute and little anymore!..."  Their comments were focused strictly on race but as I have walked through this season of being a stranger in Colorado Springs and the drama of introducing our children into new social circles, those words have taken on new meaning to me.

Because we are such a large family, some of the kids are still cute and little.  Others are big, almost adult size, and their 'abnormal' social skills are enough to make strangers stand back and keep a safe distance.  Not that my kids are going to attack anyone (well they might - but that isn't what this post is about)  just watching an almost 10 year old who needs to sit in my lap and suck his thumb during church because he is scared and an 11 year old who is covering his ears and jerking around in pain every time the hand bell choir starts is enough to make many people keep a good distance.  The very same nice, normal Christian folk who will coo and smile at the babies just are not comfortable with these older kids who have hidden disabilities - they have passed over the 'cuteness' line and entered into new territory where they just don't fit the mold - especially the church mold.

It's sad to watch and feel. Just like I will never really know what it is like to be Black in American society - I will never know what it's like to have a life-long hidden disability.  But through this year of being away from everything we knew and everyone who knew us I have had a little taste of the feeling and a better understanding of the value to my kids of being known, really known, by people who have a long-range vision of their life.  Which is a large part of why we are going home...

Tuesday Update.....

My head is overflowing with posts - but my arms are filled with hyper-stressed kiddos and the reality of what needs to be done first.  The great news is that no one woke up with a fever or throwing up last night so we are on the road to recovery! 12 out of 13 had varieties of the flu since last Friday and I am ready for us to get into the swing of 'last things' here in Colorado before it's too late.

One day from today (Lord willing) we will be packed and driving back towards the frigid place we all call home.

If You Are Interested.......

For the past 10 days we have been shedding all of the furniture that will not be making the trip back toMinnesota with us - it was a lot and I am hopeful that today will be the end of that part of the process. 

We have chosen not to sell but to donate and share this pile of treasures - for us this season feels very focused on loosening the grip of money in our hearts and learning to really not let it direct our days.  Several of you have asked of you can pay us for the furniture - but we would rather direct gifts to Sarah's Covenant Homes in India.  Specifically to help her set up a fund to cover funerals, memorials and the other details that need to be covered when one of her children dies.  Though we hope she will never need to use this money - the truth is that she most likely will.  If you are interested in partnering with us to build her reserves in this area -  link over here to her paypal donation site and put Noah Fund into the subject or notes.

New Boots Are More Interesting Than The Details Of Illness.....

It's a 'Three P' sort of Sunday around here ...Packing, Puking and Potty.  Since we are obviously still in the grasp of the flu we didn't head off to church this morning but are slowly tacking some of those more challenging packing chores (strange shaped antiques) and strictly mundane tasks (laundry is such a part of the flu.)

This week Carrie sent me a replacement pair of boots for my decrepit but well loved lace ups (like the cracks in my soles?)  I could get another winters use out of mine here in Colorado but they are not up to the Minnesota challenge at all.  Being a great girlfriend, Carrie added in some dark chocolate to the box as well as things to help with the travel ahead of us - perfect timing as the box arrived just hours before the 'upheaval' began.

Thanks For The Busy Box Things!

Thanks to the two families that sent Busy Box things to our kids - one of you I was able to thank and the other family I can't find the email from so your thank you is right here!  (Thanks also to our friend in NC for the goggles - my son is in little man heaven!) Nothing like the boxes that things arrive in being immediately used for packing up the house...messes up my thank you system horribly.  The money we would of spent on these things was sent over to help meet Noah's medical/funeral needs in India.
Thanks again!

Ha! I Knew It Was Sneaking Up On Me....

Yesterday I had that 'better make hay while the sun is shining' sort of feeling - like an invisible freight train was on my tail so I better get as much done as possible before it caught up with me.  Half an hour ago it arrived and I am laughing at the reality of adding it into the pile of life that is happening right now.

It started to surface early this morning but I didn't recognize it.  Our little three year old boys got up in a foul mood.  Clingy, hiding under blankets, fighting like little pole cats.  Based on their behavior and that of three older ones I decided it would be strictly a fun play day with extra therapeutic parenting as icing.  Until the phone rang and they asked to schedule a showing for 11:30 this morning.....I almost said no because the kids were in such a bad mood - but reminded myself that we have to show it to sell it and said yes.

Half way through getting the house ready I realized that we were not going to make it in time for the showing and called in the reserves- AKA the Daddy Calvary.  In the 45 or so showings that I have prepped for over the past year I have never needed to call him home from work - but this was different.  These kids were not just a mess they were each a separate mega mess and so was the house.  Thankfully he arrived, we finished and got everyone to Subway for lunch (thanks again for the Subway certificate!)  As I started serving out sandwiches I realized that one of those little boys who had been such a mess earlier was that particular shade of magenta that tells one that they have a high fever and his cohort in crime wasn't looking so good either.   Darn...that was is it.  The illness train has arrived.  Now we wait to see how it plays out..24 hour or 7 day?  Fever alone or throwing up? Two sick or a systematic 21 day bought that goes through 13 of us?

Starting to Watch Over My Shoulder..........

The last few days have been clipping along at far too easy a pace for this particular place in my life.  Yes, the kids have melted down, blown up and fallen apart (not to mention their mother throwing the odd tantrum) but things are actually pulling together for the move and dare I type it...it is almost looking manageable?  I admit I'm starting to watch over my shoulder for the falling tree, virulent flu attack or unforeseen disaster - it's just too smooth.   Not that I'm complaining..just a little wary.

Why Live In The City When We Don't Have To?

Why choose to live in the inner city when you don't have to?  Over the past 11 years I have been asked the question a hundred different ways by a wide variety of people.  The usual line of discussion goes down the road of why we would chose to live in an area that has poor school choices, small lots, parking problems, crime, old houses, violence and messy, socially inappropriate neighbors that will teach our vulnerable kids things we can't even dream of.

It's a reasonable question and one that there is no easy answer to...or at least not one that will satisfy every questioner.  Our reasons for being in the city have changed over time.  In the beginning it was part of a larger vision that our home church had cast and we had caught for families to move into the city from the suburbs.  Over the past ten years something shifted in our life...in  the end we were not in the city because we wanted to change something about it - we were there because we belonged there.  We were a part of the mess that was the city and we had a place...our kids had a place.

Being a part of the city didn't change the crime or the violence - in fact it made it more human and painful because we didn't just read about the man who was mugged in the city park we knew both him and his attackers.  We didn't just hear about the arson's in the city - we stood together with neighbors at midnight watching houses, garages and cars burn.  Living in the city brought teen pregnancy and drug addictions into our kitchen discussed over a reheated cup of coffee and the reality of overt depravity onto our sidewalks.   It isn't an easy life in the city, but it is one where there is very little opportunity to melt into the middle class apathy that I have  tendency towards and have to fight actively against.

Yeah me...middle class mom to 11...always eligible for WIC...feeling that sucking drowning apathy that affects so much of the middle class - hearing the sirens song of safety, and ease.  Of privacy and space. Of nice neighbors and the right to undisturbed sleep...watching the sucking temptation of that quicksand like ideal of the American Dream.  

I tasted it in my 20's...young, rich, successfull beyond my peers.  It was sweet - until my divorce and the realization that so much of it was based on the pursuit of a dream that wasn't mine.  It was the cultural ideal for a young, white, educated woman and it was mind numbingly tempting to me.

This past year has been another dip into that middle class nirvana pool.  We have the huge yard, the safe and terribly polite neighbors, the beautiful parks and as much privacy as we could ever dream of.  My kids haven't been exposed to any new cop-killer rap as cars drive bye and haven't seen a single drug deal or prostitute soliciting
near the house.  No shootings, no police raids, no midnight crisis calls and no neighbors screaming obscenities at me.  Nope, not one.  And it's been strange.  To pull back from other people and focus inward with so much energy is numbing.  I can feel the distinctions beginning again...creeping back into my psyche.  The them and us mentality...the looking sideways at the city and losing my love of people...choosing physical safety and privacy over a life fully lived.


We havent' decided yet if we will be settling long term into the same neighborhood we lived in before...there are so many factors that are outside our control.  Selling and buying houses, a peace in our spirit and the unrevealed path that lays before us - but we are open to living and loving in the city in a different way than we we first moved in 11 years ago because now we know it as 'home.'

Details Pulling Together At The Half-Way Point.....

Today is the half way point on the 'moving back to Minnesota' timeline.  Looking back over the past two weeks I can see how much we have accomplished along the lines of packing, listing the house, sorting out where we will land in Minneapolis and just generally shifting our thought process back into moving mode.

Looking forward I can see that there is still a lot to be done but for some reason (Divine for sure!) it looks manageable.  One of the major tasks for today is to realistically look at what furniture we have and ruthlessly decide what will be returning to MN with us and what I will give away at this end.

To do this I am working under the only two solid assumptions I have at this point: 1.That we will be hauling and storing everything we want back to MN  2. That there is a very good chance we will be buying our old house back and therefore we will be reducing the size of our home by almost 50%.

Which means that unless we have a buyer for this house who wants this furniture I will be giving away (I really prefer sharing to selling) a massive amount of good furniture ASAP.  I will list pictures here soon but I have a 'game' table and four chairs, book shelves, dressers, a couch set and more....If you know of anyone who would use these things give me a call or email me here.  Thanks!

Living With Time Bombs.....

14 days until we load the truck and head back to Minnesota. 24 hours in each day. 11 kids. Who knows how many showings of the house between now and then and how many more boxes to pack.  Three meals a day to prepare, serve and clean up from and then there is school, therapeutic parenting, and basic training for all of us.  Sound like the days are full enough?  They are - but add to that the stress that causes all sorts of strange reactions in our non-neurotypical kids and it's like living in an upside down world.

It's meltdown city, impulse control wasteland, and sleep disorder as a norm.  If we can go half an hour without an incident we are doing well - more likely it's something brewing every 15 minutes which just makes the rest of it all a little more challenging.

It's like living with a bunch of ticking time bombs - each  with separate timers, no clock to count down to the next explosion and no real way to diffuse them.  It's crazy and the only way to manage is one fifteen minute chunk at a time.

Let The Fun Begin!

Ok - so my attitude doesn't quite match the title of this post but as mom to the crew I have to fake enthusiasm some of the time.  This is one of those times. 

Friday our house listing hit the Internet and tomorrow we have our first showing and with a second on Monday.  Of course tomorrows is from 1:30-2:30....the dead of nap time for a Sunday afternoon and I am trying to pull a little enthusiasm out of the hat to get us through it.  I know in my heart I have to show it to sell it....but I was hoping for a little quiet Sunday reading next to the fireplace as temperatures drop and snow begins to fall.  Instead I get to clean and then load the crew into the van and drive them around for an hour while they sleep.  I think I better find some special music to help me pass the time without slipping into crabby mom mode....wonder if I have anything left on my Starbucks card.......

Why The Drama Queen MUST Not Leave The House Without Coffee......

Seventeen days until we load the moving truck, two days until the first showing on our house and 1000 miles between us and the new place we lay our heads.  FYI - We are camping in Grandpa John's vacant house for the time being...but that will be another hurdle....13 people, 800 sq feet in the dead of a MN winter, I'm thinking we might just get a few good posts out of that opportunity.  But that little drama is still 17 days away...here is the drama for today.

3:00am - several little ones are having a hard night..I have seen every hour pass with one or another of them.
4:00am - Laughter is not laughing..he is screaming a blue fit because he is hungry.
5:30am - I realize there is not a single coffee bean in the house.  Whimper..
7:00am - husband and I drive separately to the Chevrolet dealer to get the big van checked out before we drive cross country again in January.
7:30am - finish checking the van in at the dealer...wandering around in the parking lot trying to find my husband.  I'm on the cell and he sticks to his story that he is right next to the red corvette outside the service entrance...
7:31am - I turn around and realize that I am the FORD dealer next to Chevrolet. (No wonder they looked at me funny when I said I had an appointment - they took me at my word and got right to it....)  I laugh until my eyes water and explain to the husband what the problem is....
7:32am - I go back in and apologize for the mistake...decide to allow them to continue the work as they already have it on the lift and what we are doing is basic safety stuff.
8:00am - Hit Starbucks with a gift card that friends gave us for Christmas (thanks again Patty!) and deliver husband to work.
8:30am - Explain to the amused children at home what the joke of the day is (mommy took the van to Ford and totally didn't realize it) and explain that my main goal (get the van ready to drive) had been achieved in a way I would have never dreamed - able to share with them that that is just how God works in our lives sometimes....
7:00pm - Hit COSTCO for supplies.  Including a big can of Folgers because I just might pack the grinder and have to chew whole beans...

Storm Turns Three....

 In the busyness of this week we celebrated Storm's third birthday.  This was the 13th birthday for us in Colorado...each of us has now had one here and we will be back in MN before the pattern picks up again in March.  Sort of strange how this whole thing seems to link back to one full year, but I digress.....it's been a great year for this little guy.  He has gone from almost non-verbal 12 months ago to talking up a storm today.  He has mastered riding a trike and looks at times as if he either has a photographic memory or is starting to read.  His IQ (I'm sure thanks to his foster mom Anna using so much Baby Einstein shampoo on him :) is high and though his FASD/Autism issues are a challenge he is learning to calm down using weighted blankets and timeouts rather than exploding.  Two was a good year for him - but settling back into MN is going to make three even better.

Why?

I promised a little more detail about our impending move back to Minnesota but before I even begin with that I want to be sure to say that there is nothing wrong with Colorado Springs nor the people who live here.  The rub is with us, our needs and our expectations of life.  Basically, this time it is all about me, us, and the crew.

So...why would we take a major financial loss, leave our beautiful house in a safe and temperate climate and pack as fast as we can in order to return to the frozen northland of the inner city?  It's very simple - because we were known and loved there and building relationships can be super hard when you are a messy family.

What we didn't realize before we moved was that we had invested 15 years in relationships at every level in Minnesota and had an intricate support system that was as natural as breathing.  Neighbors, doctors, school district, teachers, dentists, friends, church, police, mail men, car repair, shoot even the guy from Minnegasco who came time after time to repair that horrid dishwasher knew who we were and what we were up to. And just like breathing, we took them all for granted until we moved away from every single person who knew us.  Since then almost every relational  breath has been labored and a exhausting.  The past 11 months have felt like we are having an emotional/relational asthma attack and scrambling desperately to find our inhaler.

It's not that we haven't tried.  We dug in with everything in us to make this transition work - but in the end we realized that we would rather live in an  1800 sq foot house in the inner-city (surrounded by people who knew our history and loved us) than in a 3700 sq foot spread surrounded by strangers.  Not that people are not nice here - it's just that we haven't lived together - cried together - laughed together.  No one here would cheer when Laughter is finally dedicated nor take those covenant promises as seriously as our church family at home.  I want the Amen! at my children's baptisms and dedications to mean something to those that speak it - something based on the fact that they are loved and known.

So that's the first crack at an explanation of what we are doing - we are moving back because we are known.

Drama Queen Update...........

It's been a little quiet here at the blog as I have been waiting to see how our life was going to play out in the New Year.  No new baby for Christmas and no new Bible...instead my husband accepted a new position and as of January 26th we will be back in Minnesota renting a house in our old neighborhood directly across from the one we sold. 

(Sub)Urban Servant will happily go back to Urban Servant and we hope to jump right back into city ministry.  That's all for now...I have a hundred posts in my head to write and share but today I have to face the reality that in 19 days I have 13 people to move cross country again.......I WILL NOT PANIC!  But I will be sure to stock up on the caffeinated beverages!

He Had A Dream.....

My three year old son woke up this morning and told me he had a dream about writing all over the walls in the kitchen and the van with toothpaste.  He was horrified at the thought and I was trying not to laugh hysterically.  Guess I have been a mom for too long - I didn't even offer the 'of course we wouldn't do that' lecture....the look on his face told me that there was really no need.  I must have been pretty mad in that dream.