Everyone who adopts has a 'favorite' question that they seem to be asked more often than others. In this season the one I hear most is "What type of help do you have?"
I assume that the fact that we have 11 kids under 15 is enough to make strangers hope that we have help to make daily life possible. It's a good question and in reality I would love to share the load. But the truth is that we can not afford to live anywhere near our families, we don't have the income to hire help, we have moved 1000 miles away from our support network, and at this time our kids are not eligible in Colorado for any services that would provide an extra pair of hands. What that means is that we really have no help and that we do our best every day with the time and energy we have - trusting the Lord to make it enough, because there is no more.
This is one of the hard things about adopting kids privately rather than through foster care - unless they have a debilitating physical or predictably severe disability when they are placed with you (and therefor a subsidy written), there are very few resources available. Not that they can't qualify for Medicaid or SSI later in life, but there is usually a long road between the time a need surfaces and time when help finally arrives.
What's your favorite question in this season?
7 comments:
Easy: "What did you wear in Dubai?" Most people are surprised that I never wore an abaya (what most people refer to as a burka), that, in fact, it would have been ridiculous to do so, and that I wore regular, modest western clothing (always long pants or long skirts, for instance.) You really could import some lovely and grateful help from Dubai. you know...!
Do you know anything about their mom or dad? Actually I do because I am their mom. I try to graciously insert,their birth parents.
"What kind of baby daddy does that one have?"
Are you kidding me!
"Are you a day care center?"
Sometimes I answer "no, we're a family".
Or sometimes I answer, "Yes, but we don't take Caucasian children. Sorry."
We've gotta laugh right? LOL!
I just got the "you must have help" comment recently too and it shocked me..no I live 10 hours from my family, just lost my church family and my husband lost his job :) I "just" have God and my immediate family LOL:) Favorite one while visiting my home church this week: "is that one yours?" That one?? Really...
Two of my favorites "Are they all yours?" Yup!! And drum roll. . . . "It must be so much easier to adopt, you don't have to be pregnant!" Seriously!? Ummm, I've had both and hands down pregnancy was WAY easier. LOL!
Right now, it is "Are they twins?" because we have a foster child who is a month older than our bio youngest. They are 6 and 7 months.
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