Net Flix for Homeschooling? Any input?

Ok - I admit it. We use DVD's for some of our homeschooling. This week the older kids and I watched Amazing Grace (after listening to an audio biography of John Newton) and discussed the abolition of the slave trade. I'm not sure if we are headed into a fit of Horatio Hornblower next or not, but the Planet Earth DVD set has always been a favorite and for some of my kids watching is the best was to learn.

So....anyone use Net Flix? Any opinions about plans, availability or how the process works in real life? We have dried up our local libraries supply and I am tired of overdue fees when we get off track.

Home Updates are not all hard work...there is the artistic side of it!

This is the tile I chose, we are not sure yet of the layout but I love the multi-colored glass and different size squares.

It's like mommy Lego's. These are all the basic design pieces and I get to make something permanent with them. There is a little stress....if I'm wrong I do have to live with it for a long time!

Today's thrill was unpacking the new vanity and realizing that the colors in the marble top (COSTCO - not real prices!) is a great match to the brown and grey in the tile.

This is the mirror for over the vanity - yes those are my bare ankles showing in it. The vanity is the same espresso color and is a beast. Have I mentioned that I tend to buy things on the heavy-duty side of life? Some might even say to excess. :)

Starting to See The New Design....

This is Steve the Electrician. He has become a regular at our house and I really like his personality and gentle nature - today he roughed in the outlets and strung wire for new switches. Missy, tomorrow he is going to remove that old fuse box above the door and remove a bunch of knob and tube. An amazing thought isn't it?

Weldon helped break the toxic trend today by demonstrating how the new shower will work.

Strictly an artistic shot...........

Jerry really liked the vibration from the sawz-all upstairs - when Weldon was cutting out the old drain and vent he laid his head on the wall and stayed perfectly still. Hopefully he will like the bone conductor with the ILS therapy we are starting next week as much!

This is Weldon's burglar alarm...the door is off but he barricaded the entry with two ladders and then leaned shovels up against them. If anyone tries to get in over night it will be loud. I like it.

Here is a link to a blog that makes me feel sane.....

Barb and I were at Bethlehem and adopting special FASD kids at the same time in the early 2000's. I love (and hate) to see that our lives are on such similar paths. Thanks for connecting me with her again Betsy- I think I will add her to my side bar and make her easy to track. The blog link is here. Sane? Yes - it's hard to believe what your heart is telling you (that something is very wrong) when the voices around you are saying the opposite (that there is no real problem.) Especially when you wish with all your heart the voices were right.....

Toxic Monday....

I think a pattern is developing here....

At 6:30am I found that the new batteries I had put into the smoke detector before bed had leaked and there was a new 'etched' design in the center of my kitchen table.

At 10:30am the kids reported that they had broken one of those new bulbs (CFC?) over my bed so that added Mercury to the list of contaminants for the day. And another thing to clean up.

At 11:00am I found Lily with a handful of fiber tablets and discovered that she has been snacking on them freely from the back storage pantry.

At 11:30am the obvious happened and she had a total diaper blow-out in the kitchen - I threw those bathroom towels away because there was no way I was putting them in my washer!

At 1:30pm she had another blow out - on my bed this time (where I had recently cleaned up the Mercury) and had yet to replace the sheets.

So whats next? I am sure that we have missed a few types of toxicity - perhaps the gas line will leak or Weldon will discover some new source of Asbestos? I have not yet called poison control, but then we are only half way through this rather messy homeschool day. Good thing we got the math and devotions done early!

Living with FASD - The Trouble with Sharing our Concerns....

(Note: My kids with FASD have not experienced the serious medical and life threatening side effects that can come of their exposures. They have ARND, pFASD, and FAS (all under the FASD umbrella) but to the outside world they ‘look’ very normal so we are living with what is basically a hidden disability.)

When they are small, my kids with FASD have been basically ‘normal’ or within the range of other kids. Heart murmurs, growth issues, head size, sleep and feeding problems, none of these are considered unusual once they go through the first few weeks of withdrawal and settle into their first year. Everything sort of bumps along the traditional pathways until they are about 15 months old. Up to this point most people look at them and say “Look – they are perfectly normal – what a blessing that they were not harmed by all that pre-natal exposure!’ And any concerns I share out loud are dismissed as paranoid and negative. I find that this response is almost across the board – social workers, doctors, and friends are very unwilling to see the subtle things that daily interactions reveal. But I see the signs and I know in my heart that the damage has been done. I have learned to treasure up these baby days against the future.

The roads start to diverge between 15 and 24 months. They are slow to speak – or loose words that they had. They have ‘rages’ rather than tempers. They do all of the usual naughty two year old things but don’t seem to learn (or remember) when they are corrected. They are often spacey and stare at me blankly when I speak to them – as their mom my earlier concerns are confirmed. If I express them out loud at this point I get more reassurance that they are just slow to develop, or maybe they are experiencing adoption trauma. But I know in my heart that the damage has been done and I treasure up these toddler days.

As they grow through the toddler years and into kindergarten the shift becomes more obvious. Now I have a child who is "not trying- not cooperating- not focused and not prepared.” The same voices that were assuring me that I was overreacting are now talking about parenting methods and effort. The assumption is that we, as parents are doing or not doing something that is causing this child to fall behind. But I know in my heart that they didn’t start with the same tools, or the same abilities and that the being behind isn’t new – it started on the day they were born.

And the day finally comes when others can ‘see’ what I have been saying since they were babies. There is something wrong here. We can agree on that- ADHD, Learning Delays, IQ, Processing Delays, Oppositional Defiant Disorder who knows what all is wrapped up in this but it isn’t new. It’s been here since the first time I met them – in their faces and in their histories. It’s the damage done by prenatal exposure to drugs and alcohol. It’s the reality of their world and nothing has changed since they were babies except that the voices around me are starting to agree that maybe, just maybe, they were harmed.

This is as far as we have personally come in the journey. We haven’t lived through the teens and the twenties and haven’t experienced the launching of these kids into the larger world. As I look around and see other adults and more experienced families with FASD, I see where the issues we deal with today are part of their future. I see hope and I see growth. But I also see that the damage that was done before they were born does not go away. No matter how much I wish it would, no matter how good a parent I am or what sort of teaching they receive – this is their reality and therefore mine. This is the truth of living with FASD.

(End Note: Some people will read this post and let me know that I am being too dramatic, too negative, or stereotyping my children and therefore it will condemn them to fail. I will be offered examples of people they know who were exposed prenatally and are ‘fine.’ This isn’t a new response; it hardly bothers me anymore because generally these are not the parents of troubled kids with FASD or people with FASD themselves. They don’t live in our world and can’t seem to understand that our kids are not going to ‘grow out of’ these issues. If time or teaching were the answer, our prisons would not still be filled with FASD adults and our foster care systems overflowing with their children.

This post is meant to encourage the parents of FASD kids out there – to reassure us that we are not nuts and to help start a dialogue with others about what it means to live in a country where so many kids and adults live with this hidden disability. Perhaps in the future we wont have to wait until kids are failing in school before our concerns can be heard.)

Orange Belt to Yellow....plus one White.

Today was TKD belt testing for our family. The reality of it was that after our usual 2 hour workout we stayed an extra two hours as each level was put through their paces before being promoted. It was a long morning followed by a pot-luck that we were more than happy to share with Ms June and Master Griffin. It was Lydia's first time at a belt testing so she was just watching - next time she will test with her friend Kamie.

I think that Leah's new sport glasses are helping a lot. I like the bright blue she picked out.

Jim was thrilled to move up to his Yellow belt. Now if I could only find a way to keep it on him and his shirt tidy. Even Master G sees the problem. The kid has no hips so everything slides right down. Being who he is, James has figured out how many more years it will take him to get his First Degree Black Belt.

Here are two of our smallest friends getting ready to spar. Emily and Rose - they both moved up to their Orange belt today.

At one point our friend Kamie was sad and I was so blessed to watch my almost teen John move into big-brother comforting mode with her.

Today was a positive marker for Josh. He had a rough two hours before the testing and I thought we were in for a brain freeze. Last promotion he set his heart on not giving up his White belt and refused to receive the Orange one. This time he initiated high-fives, did the splits, broke his board the first time and even smiled for the camera.

Here I am receiving my yellow belt - from a child photographers perspective.

I was really proud of John. He was the one who stepped forward when Master G asked if anyone wanted to demonstrate a weapons form. He made a few mistakes, caught himself and carried on without missing a step.

Our friend Bravo.

Bees, Buckets and a Lot of Hard Work.....

Day three of the second floor remodel. 7:30 am we had a dumpster arrive, and I set to work with Weldon and some of the older kids removing the plaster and insulation in five gallon buckets and contractors bags. We founds several wasp nests in the walls - isn't this a nice one? It went all the way down through the second floor into the kitchen wall below. Cool and a little scary since I grew up in a house with bee issues and hate the idea of having large numbers of them in my bedroom.

My friend Rosa showed up about the time the kids collapsed. Jesse, Josh and John put in a solid two hours of work shoveling plaster and loading lath - I was really proud of them. Rosa is standing ankle deep in the insulation that fell through on us as we removed the ceiling. She is a really good friend. Leah was a total trooper as she managed the six little ones while we worked - what a blessing a capable oldest daughter is!

Bare bones of the area - even the knob and tube wiring and old gas lines are visible. The only significant deconstruction left is tearing up the linoleum to see if the hard wood floors underneath are salvageable. I hope they are!

Rosa and I - no question that we needed a shower where we were done.

So...if your chimney goes up from the basement through the kitchen and second floor and dead-ends in the attic does it serve any useful purpose? Now the decision..does it stay or does it go now. I really like the brick that's balanced on the beam next to the chimney - so thankful it didn't fall on Rosa or Weldon's heads!

John, my almost 13 year old loading lath.

Jesse - my 9 year old taking a break from shoveling.

This was where we started the day...I can't move the photo for some reason so it's out of order. That's plaster burying the floor and removing it took the first two hours of the day. Nothing like starting with the heavy stuff.

From Ugly to even Worse.....

This was the bathroom on my second floor. Tiny, marginally functional and well...ugly. Especially when compared to that beauty on the first floor. So a few weeks ago (right about the time I got the tools put away from remodeling the first floor bathroom) I got a wild idea. Weldon has a bit more free time on his hands than he had planned this spring- and the ground work had been set for doing this project 'in the future.' So...I floated the idea past Robert and Weldon about taking the plunge and repairing this last real vestige of the 1900 duplex. Not that I mind sleeping in an old kitchen. I've gotten used to the nasty pale pink/blue/cream linoleum and sort of like the ease of access that the refrigerator height outlets provide. But truth is, the plaster is falling off the walls and cracking in the ceiling and my life isn't going to get any easier as the kids get older - it's just going to get more complex. Based on current interest rates, a quick refinance of the house to cover the remodeling costs and a brain that has already done the necessary research for a bathroom remodel. We shifted everyone into bunk-house mode (that's 8 of us in the boys room and porch) and started ripping.....from salmon pink (gag) to mono-chromatic in 5 hours today.

See that gleeful glint in his eyes? I think he hates the pink as much as I do!

Easter Pictures and Fund Raising Bows.....

Easter eggs were hidden all over the house this year since it wasn't warm enough to hide them outside. Even my church shoes were pulled into a action

Nanee bought everyone chocolate bunnies before she left. I think Joe got the 'I have had too much chocolate but I just can't stop' face down pretty good - don't you?

The ever tacky - marshmallow chicks in oatmeal Easter breakfast for 12.....they always seem to stare at me.....unsettling.

Isn't this a great photo of Jerry? I put this one up for Anna. :)

These were the girls special Easter dresses - adorable except that Lydia has shot up and hers was too short.....so I went to the basement and found these ones that were plenty long enough and met the matching girls in cute outfits need.

The bows on the hats were made by my friend at Sugarplum Boutique to help raise funds for Sarah's Covenant Homes. Good news was that they matched the flowered dresses and were a pretty accent for the all-white ones also.

A Day Spent Exploring Integrated Listening Systems.....

Last week I wrote a post asking if anyone had experience with Integrated Listening Systems. After doing our research, Robert and I decided that it was worth him taking a vacation day off work so that I could attend a training seminar that they held here in the Twin Cities. That training was today, and it turned out to be a good investment.

Besides getting a whole day off of mommy duty, I was encouraged that the things have been intuitively doing and not doing with our kids who have sensory/processing issues have a basis in this program. So much so that I am hoping to begin using it with three of them as soon as we can afford to purchase the system (I think three is my max for managing to begin with , though the other three would be added in later.)

The four main reasons why this particular program appeals to me are:
1. Location. I can do it at home which makes it a winner.
2. Integration. The combination of Listening, Balance and Visual components follows how I have been working with them on my own.
3. Management. The system is very manageable for a homeschool mom and is pre-programmed with 5 different protocols or programs that can be manipulated to meet a child's specific need.
4. Hopeful. I left the seminar hopeful that ILS is a tool that we can use to help our kids achieve their personal best. I don't think it will 'solve' or 'cure' them, but I am excited to add this program to my toolbox of things that help unlock their potential.

That's the quick and simple of it. Not too technical as my brain shut down somewhere about 5:00pm and I have to get the crew sorted out for our co-op meeting tomorrow. I see huge potential with ILS for our kids with FASD and the secondary issues that follow it, enough so to invest in purchasing and using it.

Four Minutes on the Phone With my Daughters Birthmom....

Yesterday I had the opportunity to speak with Noel and Lydia's Birthmom. It was the first time I had ever heard her voice or had any direct contact with her. I was slightly stunned to find myself talking with her and because of that I didn't have a clear idea of what I wanted to say. I remembered a few questions about their births and family history that were missing on their paperwork and she told shared who each girl took after in their looks.

It was odd. It was good. It was totally unplanned. I told her how happy the girls were and thanked her for trusting them to our care. She said she worried about if they were healthy and had broken any bones. I encouraged her to call again if she wanted to check in and see if they were 'ok,' and I meant it.

What would you say or ask if you had 4 minutes to speak to your child's Birthmom today?

Update on Jerry's finger...

Today Jerry had his first visit to the Orthopedic Clinic - his first weekly visit until they decide if he needs a skin graft or not. Most of the area looks good but there is one section that got almost down to bone and they want to be sure that it heals well. So for now we soak it 2-3 times per day, keep it covered and keep praying that it will heal well without a graft. At today's appointment they decided that the finger will always be a little odd shaped because of the extent of the injury but most of the nail should grow back and the bone is undamaged. I count that as a good visit.

The most dangerous thing in my yard...........

Yesterday I bought a bike rack on Craigs list and thought that I had resolved some of the yard dangers for the toddlers in our household. Bikes are always fascinating and tip so easily that a rack seemed like a logical decision and this one was the right price. So we brought it home set it up and started to move bikes out while dinner cooked. What I didn't realize was that if the bikes don't fall when you mess with them they have other hazards....like the gears and chains if you sit and spin the pedals. Josh and Jerry were out together happily spinning the pedals on one until Jerry poked his finger in... and.... well... cut off the end of his index finger. Not life threatening, but bloody and painful and a guarantee of an evening in the ER and a trip to the Hand Surgeon on Tuesday.

For now he has a mitten sewn to his jammies and has to do his school work Left handed. Poor kid.

Praying over a very special child and adoption....

I know, every adoption and each child is special. God creates everyone of us in His image and therefore none is worth more to Him. That said....sometimes there are extraordinary opportunities for the Family at large to support a particular situation in prayer and with financial assistance and it look like one of those situations is coming together right now.

The family I can share - it's Tristan's parents J and R and they are looking at receiving the blessing of an older child who's story is not mine to tell. But I can assure you that it is a highly compelling situation, they desperately need our prayer support and well...it's something that I am putting at the top of my 'how to best invest those extra dollars' column for the next few months.

Right now it's at the hurry up and wait phase, but within a few weeks it could be pulled together and the financial crunch upon them. Everyone can pray, and if you are led to help financially I can connect/funnel/or forward notes or help to them.

Praying God's amazing grace over everyone involved.

A vist from Nanee......

This week my mom flew in from Seattle to spend a few days hanging out with the us. We are still working through that nasty goopy cold that hits every Spring so we mainly hung out at the house and just had fun together. Since there were two adults to supervise we died Easter eggs (and then promptly ate almost all of them the next morning.) I gave up the egg dippers and fancy techniques years ago - we now all just use our hands and call it therapy. :)

Lily really enjoyed rolling her eggs over and over again in the blue. Yes - her eyes are closed and she is wearing a full-length black velvet dress. She knew this was an important event and worth dressing for!

Noel caught the vision of black velvet also so this was a semi-formal event. Though Joe stayed in his footie jammies - the renegade!

The good news was that no one spilled the bowls of dye this year - a first I think.

Because Leah's birthday is this week (today actually - Happy 11th birthday Leah!) Mom brought her cake decorating things. Lily is perusing our favorite cake decorating book from the 70's and choosing all of the ones she wants - I admit that fancy cakes have fallen off my radar, but it was sure nice that Leah got to help make her own Doll Cake this week. (It was my favorite when I was her age.)

Cooking is a large part of our life and I try to incorporate everyone who can follow instructions into the process. This week Jesse/Leah/Josh were particularly helpful with dicing and getting things ready for the stove. Hamburger was on sale so we browned up a bunch with onions and garlic and froze it for later meals. This is about 16lbs on the stove, 4 huge onions and 6T garlic.