Monday, June 22, 2009

What Kind of Mom......

What kind of mom....
freaks out when the nursery workers allow her child to 'escape'
or looses her cool when sick children are allowed in and fragile ones exposed.

What kind of mom....
locks herself in the ice cold pantry because she wants
to shake this child she fought so hard to adopt - the one who has become the 'enemy.'

What kind of mom....
stomps her foot so hard at a toddler that she is thinking about fractures and wonders if it's worth it for the half day of respite a visit to the emergency room would bring.

What kind of mom....
loses the desire to hug the child that screams, and fights, and day after day pushes her away.

What kind of mom....
Aches for the sameness and calmness and peace filled reality of life 'before' this child.

That's God's chosen mom.

Those called to the special task of parenting children who can be unloving, unable, unwilling and unbending.

A select group of women called into the exhausting task of pouring grace after grace onto wounded hearts and bodies -only to have it thrown back into our faces.

An exhausted team that have prayed the endless hours of the night with children God placed into their unprepared arms - trusting that His ways are best.

Women with wounds and scars.
Cracked pitchers that loose half the Living Water to our own weakness before we can raise it to pour it over the thirsty around us.

What type of mom....
Truly asks to be a part of the weeping, misjudged and bedraggled army that God has raised up to care for His special children.

What type of mom...
Picks up this cross daily and follows the One True Leader because the voices around us clamor that we can't do this hard thing we are called into.

What type of mom am I today?
The one who embraces the suffering or the one who chafes under it and wants another way.

Day by day I have to ask..
What type of mom today?

(Note: This post is a sampling of my own and other mom's realities and issues that we have sorted through together. Please pray over the large number of adoptive and biological mom's who are suffering under the burdens of parenting kids with challenges. The 'hidden' aspect of this walk is painful.....evidenced by the large number of emails I have had supporting the message of this post - and their consistent asking to not be identified and not wishing to post open comments. I love you all and thank God we are on this journey together!)

10 comments:

Marian said...

Thank you (through tears) for the rare compassion and understanding of this post.

secondofwett said...

Oh...God Bless you for your words....I have struggled with these thoughts sooooooo many times and have felt so guilty. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for being brave enough to be real about the challenges we face with our kids and ourselves. Even better than respite in the ER :) is the respite we find in a "good day" with our kids. I pray that you get one of these soon. I'm not sure that God has "called" me to do this work but I am doing it nontheless.
God bless us all- no exceptions.

AKBrady said...

I had to wait a day or two before responding, as so many of your comments resonated in my heart. I have had days where I wished that God had not given me this task, but in moments of clarity remember He did, and for a reason I could never understand. Maybe the two of us doing this parenting thing together is something....maybe for no other reason than to experience grace and see beyond what my eyes show me. I don't know. But it helps immeasurably to have another person walking my road, and to have it be someone I have been friends with most of my life, well, let's just say God is good, eh? ;)

Peter and Becky Bowersox said...

Very timely words as we have faced 2 days in a row of apparent setbacks with our 3 beautiful children who are making me crazy.

Anonymous said...

I am NOT crazy. Or the most horrible mother I know. Thank you for writing this. I know God meant for me to read this today. This has given me enough relief to run to God today.

MomInTheTrench said...

My last post was strikingly similar. All of the pain is too much. Thank God for. . .God.

Su said...

oh me. . tears. . tears. . .just found your blog. . .this spoke to my soul. . .thank you

AMY H WHITEHOUSE said...

Just "found" your blog because another wounded mom sent it my way. Thank you for your genuine sharing. It does help to know there are others out there trying to love these beautiful children who push us away physically and verbally.

Shannon said...

You can't imagine how much I needed this today. Thank you!